JayDee

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Secret Identity
I have many aliases: JD, JayDotDeeDot, Johnny Destructo, The Wrecking Ball, Doug, Doogie, Doug E. Fresh, so on and so forth. In grade school, due to my lack of sports interest, it was "hey faggot." Not actually being gay didn't seem to factor into the nickname, strangely. You, dear reader, can call me whatever you want, just make sure to leave the money on the nightstand.
Powers
I have the uncanny ability to take any awkward situation and magnify it to the Nth degree. Some find it charming, though those people usually mistake the word charming with annoying. Also, I whupped Testicular Cancer's ass right in the face. BaBAM! Take that, tumor-nut! Sigh...cute little Crunchy the Tumor. How I miss him sometimes. He was a worthy adversary.
Secret Lair/HQ
I live inside you. That occasional burning in your urethra? That's me trying to get comfortable.
Weaknesses
Kittens. Good god, man. Have you seen those things? Their cuteness could murder Bruce Willis.
Vehicles
"It turns out it’s kind of a..a dinosaur-dragon-bird type creature. It looks actually like when discovery channel was doing that thing on you know, what if raptors had feathers." Though sometimes I ride a scooter too.
Origin
Well you see..it's like this. Sometimes, when a man loves a woman and the woman loves the man back, this man and woman will lay down together and the man will take his penis and insert it into the woman's vagina until the man ejaculates inside the woman. This ejaculation process will release what is called "sperm" and these sperm will all swim toward the woman's "egg". Then, when one of these sperm enters into the egg, a new life is born! But also sometimes, the man will not want to get the woman pregnant and so will "pull out" so as not to get her pregnant. He will sop up his leavings with some toilet paper and flush it down the toilet. And sometimes this sperm will accidentally impregnate a minotaur name Steve that lives in the sewers of Philadelphia, and will give birth to a hideous baby boy and raise him amongst all the rejects that dwell there. Sometimes. But that has nothing to do with me. I was dropped off by the stork.

Uncle Dunklenutz

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Secret Identity
I ask you not to know who I am, but to know who I was. I am your neighbor who knows too much about electronics. I am the ticket taker at the movies who laughs when you think you are going to score because you are seeing a chick flick. I am the man who wishes you fair-well as you leave the doctor’s office. You will not know me, but you will know I am there. I am Brian.
Powers
A mind of the Ancients and an appetite of the Gods. I can set up any audio/video technology in a single bound. With one inhale I can envelope a whole slice of pizza. I also am capable of giving the biggest hug you will ever experience.
Secret Lair/HQ
I reside in the pits of Mount Abuelayabuelo. There is no way to find this place other then to follow the scent of good home cooking. Do not try to enter for fear of the ferocious and foul beast that resides within the depths. The elders called her Sadie.
Weaknesses
Puppies, kids, Mathew McConaughey, cartoons and loud noises./dd>
Vehicles
A man of my stature rides a noble steed. Let me elaborate. 'Tis a reinforced noble steed; one that would overwhelm you with the pure exuberance wafting from its mane. With no eye, but mine, it swiftly travels through the streets. When you look upon this mysterious creature one can only throw ones self before it while reverting back to childhood. The name is unknown, but the legends remain.
Origin
I hale from a distant land. The name is common, but only one can make claim to birthing such a man, Springfield. There a round old woman and a stubborn old man raised their family with pride. With nothing but a litter of average Americans, the couple lived their lives. Until one day when an experiment went wrong and a young boy escaped the clutches of an evil nameless power. This boy found refuge with the old couple and to this day enjoys the luxuries of a warm home and a tasty meal.

Slai

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Secret Identity
Well, in L.A. an acting classmate gave me the name "Mysterious Sex Woman" for my ability to convincingly do love scenes with women and old men. However, to me that's not mysterious, just good acting via an overactive imagination. I think I'm the "Chameleon," for an ability to blend into a variety of situations, except my own awkward life. Hey, every super hero has a conflict./dd>
Powers
Genius level intelligence with an ability to learn pretty much anything, a knack for building cool gadgets, and rapid healing abilities for myself and others.
Secret Lair/HQ
A bomb shelter that remained and was forgotten in an isolated tornado prone field, that was formerly a farm.(but not really a just a farm, it was also a lab)/dd>
Weaknesses
Anger management issues, easily distracted by bargains(for creating costumes and gadgets of course), and empathy to the point of feeling others' illnesses(thus the need for rapid healing)
Vehicles
Anti-gravity stilettos and a hologram enhanced color changing Prius that can give the outward appearance of any car or truck. I only drive hatchbacks, espionage entails shlepping a lot of stuff around.
Origin
I am the result of a haphazard experiment of Russian geneticist and a Chinese spy(both genetic donors) backed by the American government to create an enhanced human for military purposes. I was stillborn to the governments knowledge and raised by an adoptive family consisting of teachers who were not able to have children of their own.