Spartacus: Blood, Sand & Boobies!

Review Written By:
Uncle Dunklenutz

Well it has been too long since I have salivated over the warrior women, Lucy Lawless. But you know what? It was worth it.  She shows it all in the Starz original series SpartacusBlood and Sand” (2010).  She’s not the only one shaking what her daddy gave her, but it is just so bittersweet to finally get a reward for watching and waiting for some skin in  XenaWarrior Princess” (1995).

Ok, with all that said and me getting turned on just thinking about it, let’s get back the review.  This was a premium channel copy of the movie 300 (2006). When I say copy I mean blood splatter, limbs severed and a tannish filter over most of the scenes.

Did it do 300 (2006) justice? No, that movie is just too awesome, but then again that was a movie.  When it comes to tv series it isn’t a one shot and done story element that keeps you coming back.  No it’s the twists and turns and continuation of past stories. The first episode was one of the worst things I have ever seen, so much I didn’t continue the series till it was recommended to me again. The only thing that really kept me coming back in the beginning was all the sex.  Concubines would perform fellatio or a human sex puppet with a wave of the hand. AWESOME!  After I got through the first 3 episodes I was hooked.  Not as a sex addict, but a Roman junkie. “Jupiter’s Cock” is one of the sayings that just makes me feel just enough in today’s world without being too engulfed in, what the intro disclaimer message states, a intense depiction of what really went on in Roman times.

The plot turns on a pretty consistent basis, but in a full hour with no commercials you just sit on the edge of your seat hoping for the answers before you have to wait another week. The cast is great, ranging from common tv stars from shows like “Legend of the Seeker”: Antonio Te Maioho (Legend of the Seeker), Craig Walsh Wrightson (Legend of the Seeker), Erin Cummings(Cold Case, Dollhouse and a lot others), Nick Tarabay (Crash) and of course, Miss Cult TV star, Lucy Lawless (Xena); to some B list movie stars: John Hannah (The Mummy Series), Andy Whitfield (Gabriel, which is just like Legion), Peter Mensah (Avatar, 300 and The Incredible Hulk) and a few others.

Just to quickly educate you on what this plot is about  I will bullet point it for you.

  • Starts with following an army of Spartans.
  • Romans screw over the Spartans.
  • Spartans revolt.
  • Only two Spartans were left, Spartacus and his wife, Sura.
  • Romans capture them and separate them.
  • They are sold into slavery and Spartacus is forced to become a gladiator
  • You then follow his life in a gladiator school filled with lies, sex and anger

This is but a taste of the plot. Go and watch it.

There are too many words that flow to my frontal lobe when I think of this series to type out. I really enjoyed the series and I have my fingers crossed to see where they go from here.

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Posted in : TV

3 Comments to “Spartacus: Blood, Sand & Boobies!”

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  1. Alana says:

    The more I read about this show, the more I want to see it. Great review. Now, I need to get my hands on it!

  2. JayDee says:

    Same here! I saw a couple minutes of this show, enuff to know that if I was 13, I’d never watch it with my pants on.. But it does look pretty interesting. I plan on checking it out!

  3. Cold Case is a nice TV series but the story sometimes does not appeal to me much”**

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