70’s & 80’s TV Rap – Optimous Douche Gets Randy with 4th Boredom

LITTLE HOUS ON THE PRARIE RAP – ANGRY NELLIE

Running the general store
Little half-pints a whore
Always putting candy on credit
Hey bitch here’s yo debit

My brother’s a tool
Bugging people at school
Little willie’s mommy’s fave
Taste a lil of my switch blade

Yeah we’re hanging in walnut grove
I’m the girl with the prettiest clothes
Cut me once I cut you back
Laura Ingalls can lick my sack

I gots a hotel
I don’t run it very well
I need help in the kitchen
This is just the start of my bitchin

I married a jew
What’s it to you
Like your sausage with sleeve
I take mine skin free

Yeah we’re hanging in walnut grove
I’m the girl with the prettiest clothes
Cut me once I cut you back
Laura Ingalls can lick my sack

I once took a fall
To get my ass a doll
I was a cripple with class
Till dat bitch Laura scoped my ass

I’m a dirty girl
You know I’m uncanny
Unfasten that petticoat
Let’s muddy for manly

Yeah we’re hanging in walnut grove
I’m the girl with the prettiest clothes
Cut me once I cut you back
Laura Ingalls can lick my sack

FANTASY ISLAND RAP – TATOO’S LAMENT

Boss boss da bitch ass plane
Bein this short drives a chicano insane
Got a taste for the ladies, my pants a thumpin
Only part is don’t want to bang a munchkin

My name is Tatoo, I’m always smilin
You would too, livin on this fantasy island
My boss is Kahn now he goes by Rourke
I spend my days smellin his dork

Oh look there’s Charo, that spicy minx
Oochie Coochie Coochie, ya I buy you some drinks
Don Adams piss off and go talk in your show
Charo’s gettin some of Tatoo’s glue

My name is Tatoo, I’m always smilin
You would too, livin on this fantasy island
My boss is Kahn now he goes by Rourke
I spend my days smellin his dork

DIFFERENT STROKES RAP – ARNOLD’S SONG

Arnold Drummond Rap – Dave Paczkowski

Well the world gonna move to the beat of my drum
Goin from streets of Harlem to Park Ave son
Mrs. G gonna cook all of my meals
But down the hall is where it gets real

I may be small but I gots a big rod
When I look down the hall I become a tripod
My fro is large and my fly is free
Here I come, get ready Kimberly

SILVER SPOON’S RAP – RICKY’S RAGE

Hey Edward Stratton
You big man child
I’m your kid Ricky
Shit’s about to get wild

I bet you thought you pulled out nicely
Ooops a daisy, should have pulled out thricely
Cause Ricky’s here to rock your world
Put down the joystick, give adulthood a whirl

Here we is, face-to-face
Silver spoons fallen from grace
We’re hoping to find new punch lines
Because from the ratings we don’t have much time

You lawyer’s name is Dexter Stuffins
By the way he sachets, yeah he’s stuffin something
Then there’s Kate Summers, a sexy lady
Just keep playing Galaga pops, lil Ricky’s dicky will drive Kate crazy

My bed’s a car
But no motor, so don’t go far
There’s a train in the den that goes woo-woo
Are we millionaires or a petting zoo

Here we is, face-to-face
Silver spoons fallen from grace
We’re hoping to find new punch lines
Because from the ratings we don’t have much time

Oh look Derek Taylor
Bet he’ll say something sarcastic
Why don’t you take that smarm
And spread it on my nutsack

And here’s Alfonso’s, moon walking again
All right you can dance, we get it my man
I’d find a way to be more manly
With Dexter as yo Uncle, people soon call you Sally

Here we is, face-to-face
Silver spoons fallen from grace
We’re hoping to find new punch lines
Because from the ratings we don’t have much time

When all said and done
We had some fun
But the 80’s came to an end
And rich people were done

America wanted more like Roseanne
And other trailer trash to fight the man
What do I do now that the show is done
Put on funny underwear and worship Bringham Young

FACTS OF LIFE RAP or GERI’S DROOL

You take the good
You take the bad
Cousin Blair is one
I’m the other half

The chicks at Eastland are smart and pretty
Here I come to make y’all feel shitty
Think your life was really bad
Watch me drool it’ll make you laugh

What to do when ratings falter
Hire a chick worse off than Joe Cocker
Nothing’s funnier than comedy
Especially when it’s slurred by me

Mrs. G liked me fine
But gave me a blender and lost her mind
Listen bitch I got no motor control
I shouldn’t be mixing, I should be smokin a bowl

Jo was tough
Tootie a cutie
Blair with hair
Natalie a huge booty

Then there’s me cousin Geri
I only got one season
But it was legend

Wait for it

Geri

 

Posted in : Misc
Tags: , , , , , , ,

3 Comments to “70’s & 80’s TV Rap – Optimous Douche Gets Randy with 4th Boredom”

Add Comments (+)

  1. Pink Apocalypse says:

    AHHHHHH!!!!!! You shut your filthy, dirty mouth! Don’t EVER mention Little House again!!

    I’m going to go watch my ten dvd boxed sets and pretend you don’t exist!!

  2. JayDee says:

    where’s the MP3???

  3. Optimous Douche says:

    @Pink – The show will never be the same again. Nor any show, I have that effect on entertainment.

    @Jaydee – Find someone who doesn’t rap like Eminem after having a seizure then we can lay some tracks.

Leave a Reply