JD reviews SPIDER-MEN 1!!


Is it necessary to tell you that during my recent cancer remission scare, one of my passing thoughts of “things to be thankful for to stay positive about my upcoming doom” was Well, at least I lived long enough to see Spider-Man swinging around on the big screen?

No, but maybe it will help illustrate what a nerd-tastically big fan I am of the character.

Really, JD? That’s how you’re going to start your review? CANCER? Man, wotta downer.

Ok, ok. I was just making a point. And that point was I love me some Spidey! You know who else I love? I love me some Brian Michael Bendis. That man can write the boogens out of a Spidey book, and I’ve been contacting him on a daily basis, asking him to write an ongoing Spider-Man 616 title. Ok, not so much “contacting him” as “mumbling to myself”, but you get it. Another inappropriate amount of affection goes towards the amazing illustrations of Sara Pichelli. Damned if Pichelli isn’t my favorite artist working for the entirety of Marvel at this moment. I cannot, for the life of me, think of a more exciting comic book team to create a Spider-Man comic right now.

Yah, we get it. You’re enthusiastic. It’s getting annoying. Wipe the baby-brew off your pudgy manstomach and tell us what you think of the damn book!

Well, bodiless italic voices…I’ll tell you. The book is good. Is the book great? No. Not YET. One of the problems is that I WANT MORE! But is it really a problem that it’s so good that I’m whining that it wasn’t long enough? Probably not.

This book has three segments: 1. Pete spewing baby-brew all over his six-pack’d manstomach about how much he loves NYC and being Spider-Man (which I would also do all the time forever if I had his powers) 2. Fighting in front of an inter-dimensional portal (which you just KNOW is going to take him to the Ultimate Universe) 3. Hey, he’s in the Ultimate Universe, (and within seconds of being in a major metropolitan area, accidentally runs into Miles Morales.) Is it entirely possible that Peter could have spent literally a month in Manhattan without once running into Miles, let alone Miles in costume? Yes. But hey, suspension of disbelief. Despite the fact that it’s slim-pickin’s story-wise, not once did the pacing lag, nor did the issue feel lite. I read the entirety of the issue with a smile on my face.

Sara’s art here is, as always..amazing. Insanely detailed and realistic with a hint of cartoon. Just the buildings in the backgrounds must have taken a month to put together! The body language throughout is full of personality, and there isn’t a single panel that feels static. The whole book is moving. There was one tiny oopsie with the physicality of a scene that confused me. At one point Mysterio is pinned under Spidey with an elbow on his throat and in the next panel, Spidey has been…thrown off? Not only does Peter have the proportionate strength, speed and agility of a spider, but he can’t really be unstuck to a spot that he’s sticking to, and Mysterio shoves him off? MYSTERIO? Seems a little improbable, but that’s just a quibble. Everything else was spot on, and I loved it.

Awright, now sum it up and let us get on with our lives.

This is a first issue that serves to dip our brain-toes in story water and to whet our appetites for more. It’s done its job and more, I can’t wait for part 2!


When not hosting the PopTards Podcast, fist-bumping his own nethers, discussing movies, comics and other flimflam here, JD is graphically designing/illustrating/inking for a living, hanging with the @$$holes over at www.aintitcoolnews.com and Booking his Face off over here. He is also now co-hosting another Comic Book discussion show on Party934.com alongside Bohdi Zen. They discuss comics and play music, check it out live every Saturday from 4-5pm.

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7 Comments to “JD reviews SPIDER-MEN 1!!”

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  1. Pink Apocalypse says:

    You are not allowed to have a remission scare. It hasn’t been given permission.

    If it happens again, roll up a newspaper, and smack your remission firmly on the nose, shouting ‘No!’

    Use a firm, authoritative voice.

  2. JD (Host) says:

    I tried that, but smacking my last testicle with a rolled up newspaper, surprisingly, was quite painful.
    If I was more into BDSM, it could be quite sexy though.

    To continue that thought though, I was in the shower this morning, and an image popped in my head that I can’t believe I didn’t think of till now, but now I can’t get rid of it: That of my remaining testicle running around with a Highlander sword, bellowing THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!

    I noticed on the other board you mentioning the problems with Spider-Man and like characters maintaining problematic continuity. After reading comics as long as I have, you stop caring as much about long-running continuity, and just enjoy the stories if they’re fun.
    Every comic fan has his or her own brand of continuity in their head anyway, filled with all the stories they loved and discarding all the stories they don’t.

  3. Pink Apocalypse says:

    There Can Be Only One made me chuckle. Hard.

    I feel like a battered wife with every sequel, series and cartoon that’s been done to that movie. Call me skeptical of the remake.

  4. Pink Apocalypse says:

    I just read Spider-Men #1! IT WAS SO TEH AWESUMZ!!:)!!:O!!

    Every time I’ve given a modern Spidey book a flip, it’s *never* been like that – the Spidey I remember from my childhood, being Spidey. There’s always either dark in tone, flat in Peter-coloring, or both. If a 616 Spidey title was as good as this issue, I’d be buying it.

    ‘I’m all out of quips! Have some boot!’

  5. jaydee says:

    AGREEEEEEED! Now you’ll be joining me in “contacting” Bendis about doing the book on the regular.
    commence mumbling to yourself.

    I don’t dislike Slott’s work on the book, but this was pretty outstanding, and would love a monthly dose

  6. Tgjan says:

    My only question is why did spider-man crash through that women’s skylight? At first I thought it was his apartment, (though that still wouldn’t explain why he crashed through it) but then he went on to say later that he should go back to his apartment so…not sure on that.

  7. jaydee says:

    my hypothesis is that wasn’t the woman’s skylight in the 616 world, that was the building he was fighting Mysterio in, so when he went back to the building, he crashed through the skylight looking to punch Mysterio and continue the fight, but found that in the Ultimate U, a woman lived there.

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