BEFORE WATCHMEN: MINUTEMEN REVIEW
BEFORE WATCHMEN: MINUTEMEN
Written & Drawn: Darwyn Cooke
Publisher: DC
Reviewer: Optimous Douche
BWM can best be described as a milquetoast THE TWELVE. It fucking kills me to write this, but I can’t lie. The power and impact is just not there anymore when you learn that these Golden Age pastiches of the DC universe had flaws. Yeah, we kind of know that already.
Plus, let’s be honest, THE MINUTEMEN were a backdrop at best in the original WATCHMEN. They were Golden Age characters that served more to accentuate the shittiness of the silver age WATCHMEN versus being their own story. The only two we ever really cared about were Sally Jupiter and the Comedian because they made Laurie Juspeczyk’s story that much better.
Darwyn does his damndest with this thing, bringing forth his A-game retro style of art that we all loved back in NEW FRONTIER, but even the best of efforts can’t pull the ripcord for a bad editorial decision plummeting to the earth.
The premise sets us a few days after Hollis Mason’s retirement and before the impending publishing of his Supes tell-all-tale “Under the Hood.” While unpacking his things he reflects on…you guessed it, the team. I don’t want to go into the flaws of the team because that’s all that’s conveyed, their flaws.
As a reader of the original WATCHMEN, I will say the flaws of the characters we know were conveyed better in WATCHMEN. The Comedian seems functionally retarded versus sadistic; Sally Jupiter is more pathetic than sad and Hollis , I don’t even get what the hell he’s doing.
This review will feel rushed, because I think this book was rushed. It’s beyond out of place. Yes, I will continue to read the deluge of BEFORE WATCHMEN titles about to come out, but they will be the ones on the ACTUAL WATCHMEN.
Reading the prequel to the MINUTEMEN is about as interesting as reading the prequel of the newsstand guy in the original WATCHMEN.
Bring on Rorschach stat!
Tags: Alan Moore, Before Watchmen Minutemen, Darwyn Cooke, DC Comics, Watchmen
23 Comments to “BEFORE WATCHMEN: MINUTEMEN REVIEW”
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I managed to complete my collection of The Twelve (Including issues 0 and 1/2) and Absolutely. Friggin’. Loved it. Seriously. I read all 14 issues in one sitting.
The retro golden age is a strong draw for me, but if it’s just a pale shadow of what The Twelve has already done, I’m going to give it a critical, peering flip before buying it.
‘Quick reads’ are a pet peeve of mine with comics. The more wordy, the better.
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You know, the main reason I’ve never read Watchmen is because I never actually saw it, at all, ever, in any comic book shop I’ve ever been in over the years. And then one day recently (the day I sent you that email) I spotted it in a shop, and it took me a minute to even realize what it was (the smiley face with the bullet hole).
I’ll pick it up soon. I remember really liking the movie (I saw it once, and bought it last week to see again soon), but I can’t for the life of me recall any specific details of the plot. It may have been late at night. Or I might have been drinking. Maybe both.
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Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! The thumbnail on the main page reads, “Nut em.” Really got all I needed to know from that! (But I read Optimous’ review anyway.)
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No, it’s not horrible. Just so unnecessary and nothing to do with the actual WATCHMEN!!!
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I dunno that’s like saying the JSA had nothing to do with JLA
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JLA was a way to keep the characters young. Nay, I scoff at this comparison.
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yeah….YEAH???
well…..well, I scoff at your……FACE!
MOTHER-FACER!! -
My lcs put this in my pull this week even though I didn’t request it. Asked why and was shown a box of 100 copies that was sent. Did DC do this everywhere or was it just a local thing?
I politely put the book back on the shelf using your milquetoast quote, douche. Proper respect and all.
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On the issues coming in, that’s a question for a professional in the comic distribution arts. JD?
As for the review, I seem to be somewhat solitary in my feelings, IGN gave it a fucking 9, which is virtually unheard of.
Again, it’s a Cooke book (hehe) so the art is splendid. I just could not make myself care despite the valiant efforts.
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I trust your judgement douche. In the 3 plus years I’ve been reading your reviews/suggestions you haven’t steered me wrong yet.
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Thx KC, now I actually have a reason to be good.
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@pink apocalypse was RIGHT, we DO have sway! holy what?? What is wrong with people???
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I was reading a review, and this fella said it better than I could:
“And I think that’s the big difference between this book and the immortal series that inspired it: Watchmen was a work of deconstructing heroism. Before Watchmen plays it straight. That’s the big failing of this book, but that’s also a relative judgment — Cooke isn’t bringing that same ambition that Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons did, he’s just out to flesh out these characters more, to give them a heart and voice many of them lacked in the sidebars of Moore’s vision.
Is that effort justified? Right now, that’s unclear. But Cooke approaches the page with both humility and panache — he knows he’s not Moore, and hand-waves away the angry comparisons from the very beginning. Once he gets into the structure of introducing the Minutemen one by one, you really feel the rhythm of the writing. In particular, Hooded Justice, Silk Spectre, and especially Mothman get solid introductions that inform either their basic characterization or the tone in which they operate.”
- David Pepose, http://www.newsarama.com/comics/best-shots-before-watchmen-minutemen.html -
Oh, c’mon I said the same damn thing just with less words and more swears. Efficiency is the hallmark of my reviews sir.
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well, his review was more positive I think..you wouldn’t recommend buying it, but this guy did.
so pbppbpbpthththh! -
I like to be informed, entertained and see the proper usage of vulgarity.
What’s wrong with that?

You know what? I believe you.
I had this pulled, but I think I’ll just skip it, and put the money toward a copy of Watchmen.